A gentleman’s guide to {Pinterest}

We all know what a tremendous impact Pinterest has had on our lives.

About 97.8% of cooking, up-dos, organizing, wardrobes, art, cat hair crafts, and hearty laughs are now inspired by a single (genius) website. And, the Husband has something to say about it.

Enjoy.

Rachael asked if I’d like to write another post. It had been a while, and apparently my public had been clamoring for a new masterpiece…

Since I am SO 2012 with this whole social media thing, I posted a note on facebook asking for a little inspiration (and insinuating that my lovely wife would only serve me PB&J for the rest of my life if I didn’t come up with something good). And, that’s how this post of was born.

So here it is: Pintrest…The Husband’s thoughts. Take em or leave em.

I had to do a little recon and hack Rachael’s Pintrest account, because let’s face it, all I know about Pintrest is that women are shocked when they find a woman who is not on it, and that I give my wife weird looks when she laughs out loud, glances up from her iPhone, and simply says: “Pintrest: Humor Category.”

I boiled my extensive research down to three main conclusions.

  • First, the ladies love it.

So, if you’re married, single, or even thinking about talking to a lady friend in the next year or so, you need to be “Pinversant” (aka, conversant in Pinterest...I’ll see if Rachael can pin that.). Now, I’m not saying you need to kill hours giggling over those Ryan Gosling memes, planning your next party outfit or gathering nifty craft ideas that involve pumpkins, tempera paint, salvaged barn wood and wine bottles. I’m just letting you know that if you understand what that important girl means when she talks about “re-Pinning”, “Liking”, “Boards” and “Following”, Ryan’s “Hey Girl” pics will have nothing on you.

  • Second, it’s the sure-fire place to find the perfect gift. 

Is your special someone tough to shop for? Fret no more.  Pintrest will provide you with more gift ideas and creativity than you can handle. All you have to do is look for those pinned items with comments like, “I want this sooooooo bad” or “If only my husband loved me…”. Not only does Pintrest give you gift ideas, but there’s a nice convenient gift section that gives direct links for purchase. Some say the eyes are the window to a woman’s soul, but,  I’m pretty sure it’s actually Pintrest.

  • Lastly, it’s okay for men to pin.

That doesn’t mean I’m going to pin, it just means I can see why women love it and men can get into it. If you want to be a stud, it’s probably not a bad idea to find yourself looking through the Men’s Fashion category. You can see what threads LeBron is rockin’, scout out a new watch, or find some new Nike shoes. The Humor category isn’t too shabby either. And, maybe the recipes and baby animal pictures will catch your fancy too… no judging.

All in all. I’m a believer in this pinning thing. So, if your allotted Facebook and Twitter time can squeeze a couple more hours of mind-numbing (yet, productive! – Rachael edit) social media addiction each week, I say go for it.

Just don’t let the DIY home stuff and weird recipes get too out of hand…

Two words: Vegan. Cheese.

I still haven’t fully recovered.

“Happy Pinning!”

(Sources: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5.)

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Thought {full}

Tis the season to be thankful (and/or eat yourself into a food coma). At the FeshlyMinted household, we’ve been talking a lot about turkey, ‘taters, another important “T” word: Thoughtfulness.

In order to be the type of person that someone is thankful for, you’ve got to be thoughtful first. A spouse, a parent, a grandparent, a great boss… It’s those pleasant little moments of grace, or fun, or extravagance, or simplicity that make us so, so glad that they are in our lives.

The Husband has some great insight into how thoughtfulness works in a husband-wife relationship, and (without prompting / nagging / standing in front of the TV and begging / asking in a variety of accents to make him laugh) he jotted down a few ideas to share. Enjoy:

Thought {full}

I’ve realized that, unless I am intentional about going against my nature, every day I go through life zoned-in on me. What can I accomplish, what fires can I put out, and what anxieties and to-do lists will occupy my mind as I let little problems grow into big ones. Naturally, I drift into a life that is me-centered. I put my career first, my hobbies first, my t.v. shows first… Basically, I submit to my own desires and “needs”, and expect others to as well.

I bet you’ve guessed that this lifestyle doesn’t work so well with my wife… or in any relationship, really.

So, I thought I’d put some advice together that has helped me improve in the area of thoughtfulness – Not exactly an attribute that comes naturally, but one that means a lot in our home. Like, get you out of the doghouse, get you a nice dinner, get you a delighted, happy spouse to come home to, type of ‘a lot’…

For the gents out there:

Let me start this out by stating the obvious: Ladies are kind of confusing and unpredictable.

Yet, we like them (love them, adore them, share our lives with them) and they give us the support we need to allow us to be who we are, and who we are supposed to become. So, in their honor, here is some advice:

  •  Thoughtfulness isn’t about doing what’s easy. It’s about doing something out of the ordinary (aka – a surprise). If finances are tight, surprise the lady by spending the money on a dinner and a movie. If finances aren’t tight, don’t just buy a gift because it’s easy and quick, but instead, make something…write a letter…draw a funny picture and put it by the coffee pot. It’s all about extra effort. They’ll notice. Trust me. They notice ev-er-y-thing.
  • Girls want to be planned for and thought about without having to make it obvious. Girls joke about dropping hints, but in reality it’s how men discover ways to “surprise” our wives. It can be a tricky balance (and you might have to be pretty quick on the draw to beat her to that second or third “hint”), but there is no greater joy to my wife than something that is truly unexpected – no matter how small – and there is nothing better than seeing her light up with joy and the pride of being a wife of a thoughtful husband when I really, really hit the nail on the head with a simple note, or a fun date she wasn’t expecting.

{Send her to to Boston to see her best friend, buy matching coffees, mow the lawn, get her that goofy mustache corkscrew she was eying, give her a Snuggie and Food Network magazine for Valentines Day…}

  • It’s a little hard to admit, but really listening and finding out what your wife wants is pretty of important. I’m still working on this piece – all of us guys are. Hints and all, it’s not naturally easy. But it’s our job as a husband to “figure out” our wives and discover what puts a spring in her step. When you continuously pursue and serve your wife, in turn, she will gladly love, respect and serve you also. Think of it as a life-long treasure hunt… it’s fun!

Now, the ladies:

So, lots of women out there might be saying to themselves, “My man doesn’t have a thoughtful bone in his body. I should just quit reading now, and copy and paste the “man” section into an email and send it to him at work.”  Well, just hold the phone, because it might not entirely be your husband’s fault… and sometimes (cough- dear wife – cough) getting an email at work isn’t the best way to communicate.

Hang with me here!

  • Create an environment that makes it easy for us to be thoughtful. You probably know what I mean: Jabs with nasty absolutes like, “You never take me to the movies” . Or, when you’re with friends, you toss out:“The last time you bought me flowers was when my car broke down and you made me walk home in the rain. Haha!” (but no one’s laughing and it’s awkward). News flash: These types of comments make a man never want to never take you to the movies! It makes a man want to buy flowers for you, stomp on them outside the grocery store and walk away! Okay, that’s a bit extreme, but truthfully, the negative assumptions and attitude removes the fun of being thoughtful, and puts a bunch of prideful hurdles in the way of loving acts.  Side note for men: We’ve all been there when our minds says, “She ‘wins’ if I buy her flowers after a comment like that.” As men, we need to overcome the jabs as our wives learn not to throw them.

{Make your home a place he wants to be, don’t ask for a room with a hot tub when he just surprised you with a stay at a resort instead of a Days Inn, let him have his game time – and have fun with unexpected tickets even if you’re just there for the hot dogs, wait until a relaxed and focused moment to talk about your dreams and desires…}

  • Lose your preconceived notions. Right now, you might be a little depressed. I can hear some of your thoughts now: “But my husband probably wouldn’t ever do the dishwasher or take me on a nice date or do anything that requires thought unless I remind him.” Don’t fret ladies; there is a right way to prompt thoughtfulness. It all starts with removing expectations. It’s a step that you just can’t skip, because when a man does put forth the effort to be thoughtful and you expect something else or something better it will kill their motivation to do it again. Just let go, and I promise that you’ll be pleasantly surprised. The next step is…
  • Bring it up at the right time. Finally, it is very important that you don’t mention the things that are special to you right when your man is doing something they are really passionate about or absorbed in. For example: It is not a good time to ask a man to go on a picnic during a football game that he has been looking forward to all weekend. It is a good idea to chat about your dream vacation, future plans or favorite piece of jewelry over dinner. I admit it. We aren’t good multi-taskers. Take this into account… and leave the door open for your husband to get it right.

If you don’t learn to be thoughtful, you will miss opportunities to love.

Thoughtfulness isn’t just for marriage, it’s for everyone. So, call a grandparent, bake brownies for a neighbor, give someone in pain a hug, facebook message someone who affected your life, and just plain seek out opportunities to love. Try to live an entire day by being thoughtful – It’s tough, but it’s worth it. Let us know how it goes!